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Mississippi Wellness

kathyrobison — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:46:08 +0000

Until now, my business trips have taken me to London, Tokyo, New York, Los Angeles, Hong Kong, Seoul, Frankfurt, Munich, and Paris, the glitzy global seats of corporate power. Last week I found myself driving to rural Greenville, Mississippi to meet a group of folks from the Delta Citizens Alliance. On the 9-hour drive, when I was wondering what in the world I was doing, I reminded myself that this is the time for me to give back. It’s time for me to apply what I have learned in my 20 years in business and lend a hand. What I found is that I had a lot to learn from the most courageous group of people I ever had the fortune of meeting. More powerful than any group of business leaders I have ever met, simply because they know they can make a difference in the world.

This was a group of very busy people. They run non-profit organizations that target the youth, they are consultants to non-profits writing grants and getting through the red tape, sociology professors, and community activists. These are the movers and shakers of the Mississippi Delta. Some had high school diplomas and others had PhD’s. We were white, black, and brown. We were all the same, in our hearts, and we were all there to ask a hard question that few are willing to ask.

No one was afraid to ask the question, and everyone was ready to receive the answer, no matter where it pointed. No one squirmed in their seat or tried to deflect. No one was trying to be a victim and point the finger elsewhere. Everyone was ready to take full responsibility, even when the answer pointed back at all of us.

The question we were there to explore was, “Why, after all the money spent and all the programs implemented, is the Mississippi Delta still so void of hope and prosperity?” It takes a lot of courage sometimes just to ask the right question. This group was also determined to find the right answer and get on with doing something about it.

They all share the dream of seeing the Delta turnaround, and become an shining example of what can be achieved when people are willing to love and care for themselves and others. They can visualize their hometowns full of healthy, beautiful and happy kids playing on the streets without drug dealers on the corners. They can see the houses and yards cared for and manicured and neighbors greeting each other on the sidewalks. They can see the old abandoned school down the road revitalized and brimming with squirming, learning children once again. They can see young adults in local colleges and new shops and businesses opening up every year. They have a tremendous dream!

We asked why the community colleges weren’t full when scholarships and transportation were readily available. We asked if towns were really ready to work on race relations when turf wars prevented people from getting in the room together to just start a discussion. What was amazing, and a real testament to the validity of the concepts we were discussing, was how quickly everyone came to the same answer. They may have said it in a slightly different way, but the answers were all the same, and we all knew without a doubt that they were true.

The Center for Sustainable Change, an organization out of Northern California that has had tremendous success facilitating the turnaround of some of the most hopeless communities in the US, was there to share the 3 Principles of Psychology and how they promote positive change. Three simple principles that help individuals form an understanding of how we create our own realities (good or bad) through our own thoughts. External circumstances are simply challenges to address and “things” in life to deal with, but they do not create our mental reality. We create our reality in our own heads, one thought at a time. Once you give yourself permission to question your thoughts and choose to dismiss the ones that are not helpful to achieving your goals, the possibilities become endless.

Our collective answer to the hard questions was this: programs unfurled and money spent weren’t working because (1) the people they were designed to help had little or no say in what they truly needed, so community residents had no investment in the outcome, and (2) until we take time to focus on the innate well-being and wisdom that exists in all of us, it will remain difficult for people to see a different reality and work together for change in the Delta. These are simple truths, but according to this group of warriors, they hold the key to success in the Delta.

The Delta Citizens Alliance in conjunction with the Center for Sustainable Change have established a steering committee (of which I am honored to be a member) to start conversations with the communities of the Mississippi Delta about innate mental health and the 3 principles. With a renewed sense of hope, positivity, creativity and well-being, these communities will no-doubt create their own successes.

If you belong to a business organization that is jumping onto the band-wagon of corporate social responsibility, I would encourage you to consider supporting the work that is happening in the Delta. Communities and businesses can accomplish twice as much if they work together. And when the status-quo “thought box” is opened and “out of the box” thinking jumps out, the possibilities for win-win collaborations are boundless.

The Number One Killer of Careers

kathyrobison — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:31:59 +0000

A lack of confidence is the number one killer of careers, success and happiness in general. We are born with plenty of confidence, but our thoughts about our experiences and society chip away at it over time robbing us of our ability to reach our full potential. Real confidence is being comfortable in your own skin. When you are comfortable in your own skin you have much more freedom to creatively solve problems, do things because they are good for you, help others, and much more.

People who lack confidence would love to do those things but they spend so much time worried about themselves and what others think of them that they don’t have the energy. They spend most of their energy trying to compensate for their lack of confidence, which inevitably leads to poor decisions. They try to make others look bad because they are not confident that their own work product will shine through. They lie to hide small mistakes because they are afraid that someone will notice that they don’t measure up. They won’t help a co-worker because they are always afraid of others looking better than them. These are not the kind of decisions that will get you that promotion, pay raise, or special assignment. Generally, there is nothing vindictive about any of it, but living life from a place a fear will always end in disappointment. Decisions from a place of true confidence and kindness will get you noticed. People will notice that you never speak negatively about others, that you always own up to your own mistakes, and that you are always willing to help others even if it means a little more work for you. These are the qualities of a good manager or a new leader. See the difference?

In my un-official studies of human behavior I have noticed that there are four primary symptoms of “anti-confidence-itis”. If you can understand them and try to relate them to your own life, you will start to see changes.

Appearance
Appearance is one of the biggies when it comes to confidence and the one where society, media and culture are often working against us. Intellectually, we all know that your appearance doesn’t really matter. We just need to start believing it. You have to love the body that you were given and then do your best to care for it. Feed it well, keep it in shape, and try not to harm it.

Deserving
Another of the biggies, when it comes to confidence, is simply believing that you deserve success and happiness. When you don’t believe that you deserve to be happy and are constantly looking for reasons for things to turn out poorly, then you guarantee those thoughts will come true. If you can admit that you don’t think you deserve success and happiness, and realize that is simply a thought and not reality, you can almost always overcome it. Once you can visualize a dream or a goal, it is much easier to make it come true.

Intelligence
Unfortunately our society, culture, and school systems reward those that excel in math, science and reasoning the most with the label of intelligence. The reality is that being smart or talented comes in many forms and doesn’t have to involve what you might score on an IQ test. You can be “smart” at writing, literature, art, mechanics, athletics, loving, and caring and all are equal. There is something in this world that requires the exact mix of intelligence and skill that you have, it is just a matter of figuring out what it is.

Influence
Another tendency we have is to underestimate the amount of influence we really have. We don’t believe that we can ultimately make a difference. The truth is that we are all powerful beyond our imagination. You can simply decide that you are going smile and say a kind word to everyone in the elevator with you today and that alone will make a big difference.

Drinking Change From a Firehose

kathyrobison — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:19:12 +0000

We are all looking at the word “change” a little differently these days. We used to think of it as something that was mostly optional and usually came in small doses. Most of us resisted but always figured out how to muddle through it when we had to. And, sometimes, we may have even agreed that it was worthwhile, but only long after the fact. Now we are in a world where we are drinking change from a fire hose and the word option isn’t anywhere in the equation.

At some point the change will start to look like it is going forward instead of backward. It’s up to us how we choose to think about and absorb the changes. Whether we want to admit it or not, the magnitude of some of the economic results that surround us are in part tied to how we chose to react to the situation and how much fear we allowed to influence our decisions. The more fear we let in the door, the more negative our reactions, and the more we actually help make what we fear come true. If you are afraid that the economy is going into a nosedive you might not make some of your usual purchases, even though your personal financial situation has not changed. Your delayed purchases combined with everyone else’s delayed purchases cause the companies selling those goods poor financial results, lower stock prices, and the necessity to lay off personnel. Once you “shampoo, rinse, and repeat” this scenario a few times the results are devastating and unfortunately where we find ourselves today.

The sooner we are able to embrace the changes that are happening and seek out the opportunities, the sooner we can change the trajectory of this crisis and start feeling a modicum of normality. First we have to get out of panic mode. Being in the finance industry, I am constantly surrounded by the day-to-day happenings of this crisis. Some people are slowly convincing themselves that every single company is going to go bankrupt in the next couple of years. The most likely scenario is that it will feel bad for another 3 to 6 months and then things will start to pick up and move forward again. If you are willing to see them, you find evidence today of things beginning to head in a new direction.

The biggest opportunity that I see is to help our friends, families, and neighbors who have fallen victim to hard times. The unemployment rate is still less than 10%, so the other 90% of us should be able to help. We may have gotten ourselves into this mess by relying on credit way beyond our means, but one thing I know for sure is that Americans are the most creative, resilient, and compassionate people in the world. Look at what we did in the face of 9/11 and Katrina. We know how to band together, help each other, and create hope. Stop watching the news reports and start organizing in ways that help our fellow Americans get through the tough times. That alone will spark enough positive energy to actually change the outcome. You can sit at home and bask in your own misery or you can get out there and make a difference. These are the lessons that we need to learn. The sooner we get on board the sooner we can find ourselves in a better economic environment.

There will be plenty of opportunities to come out of this financial and economic crisis we just have to believe they exist and start looking for them. Besides, no matter how bad things may seem, as long as there is love, life, family, and friends there really is nothing missing. It is a time to teach our children what is really important and how to make sure you have the proper savings and emergency funds.

Please don’t wish for things to be back the way they used to be, but rather look forward to a time, which will enhance the richness and resilience of what it means to be an American.

Success . . . Redefined

kathyrobison — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:06:20 +0000

Can you feel the shift happening? The shift in the way we think, feel, interpret, and react to changes in the economy, our jobs, our friends and families, and ordinary every day happenings. Don’t be afraid . . . it means that we are finding new paths for success. When a human brain is damaged and the normal path for neurons is interrupted, eventually the neurons will find new pathways around the damage. That is exactly what is happening in the face of our damaged economy and in many cases our damaged finances. I would argue that our new pathways are not only going to be different, but stronger and better than ever. A part of that stronger and better will include a new and improved definition of success. A much needed, healthier, less materialistic definition of success!

Success should be individualistic and not a generalization. For a long time we have been using broad sweeping definitions based on some group that you supposedly fit into to define whether or not you have been successful. It has been the culturally-correct thing to do. It’s certainly what I did! Success should be based on your passions and the amount of compassion and help you grant to the earth and its inhabitants. Success will be more about a healthy savings account instead of the latest model Lexus. More about getting the mortgage paid down or paid off instead of the search for more square feet. More about the joy in saving up for something you really want instead of racking up credit card debts. It will be about finding out what makes your heart sing and what brings joy to your day. About listening more to your heart and less to what everyone else is saying and doing.

I can’t wait for the new definition because the old one is exhausting. Quite frankly, the expectation to quickly get to a six figure income, live in a huge house, drive the latest in luxury cars, wear the trendiest of clothes, and take the most exotic vacations is a lot of pressure. I personally won’t miss it.

Remember when you were kid and your relatives or parent’s friends were always asking you what you wanted to be when you grew up? You answered with what sounded the most fun with no regard for how much it paid. I personally was going to be a horse trainer, a veterinarian, a helicopter pilot, and yes, an underwater welder. Never anywhere in the equation was a desk-bound finance executive. Somehow, as we grow into adulthood an unspoken set of criteria eeks into our decision making process. Somewhere along the way we have confused wealth and happiness. We all may admit to understanding the absurdity of that from an intellectual standpoint, but it doesn’t seem to have stopped us from wanting to try just in case you actually can buy happiness.

Now is the perfect time to reassess our definition of success. In fact, we don’t really have a choice. With continued layoffs in the financial sector, many will ultimately end up in new industries all together. In the end, I believe, there will be many people who will look back at these times and credit their newly found and much happier careers and lives to the financial crisis.

Throughout my unscientific study of human behavior in the work place, I have discovered that many things boil down to courage. Do you have the courage to have the career of your passions and the life you desire no matter what the pay scale, or will you always choose the job that pays the most?